How big is your Circle of Control?
Welcome back to another edition of WeWill read! Today's topic is something I've been observing for years now, and once I understood its impact, it changed how I approach everything I do. Let's kick this off with a question to get your brain power up to speed so you can blaze through this article in no time.
What do the people in the following four scenarios have in common?
People stuck in traffic furiously honking at the driver in front of them, knowing that person can't do anything about it. (For those who know me personally—yep, I came up with this topic here it is! And those who feel addressed, you'd better keep on reading. 😉)
People complaining about the dress code of a wedding they weren't invited to.
People in a bad mood due to rainy weather.
Those who spend hours debating stock and Bitcoin prices without owning any shares.
If you guessed that they're all concerned with things entirely outside their control, you're absolutely right!
This pattern shows up in many parts of our lives, and we often don't even notice it. This habit of obsessing over things we can't control isn't just a human flaw — it's a real problem that can mess with our happiness, how much we get done, and how satisfied we feel with life. And that's why WeWill dig into why we do this, how it affects us, and most importantly, how we can start focusing on stuff we can actually change.
The Circle of Concern vs the Circle of Control
As I already mentioned, most people spend time on things outside of their control without even noticing. But to change this behavior, it's crucial to be aware of where your focus goes.
We have to understand the idea of the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Control.
These ideas come from Stephen Covey's powerful book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". The book is over 30 years old, and honestly, I've only read the first two chapters, but what I've learned so far was so insightful that I had to put the book aside, write down my thoughts, and share it with you.
So here it is in a nutshell:
Your quality of life increases, if you focus your mental and physical energy ONLY on the things you can personally influence. Everything else is considered as a distraction, that pulls you away from managing your life properly. BUT here's the surprising part: narrowing your focus doesn't limit your influence or your ability to make a positive impact. Instead, it actually enhances these things.
Okay, let's break this down into something we can all understand. Covey talks about two circles:
the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Control.
Think of it like this:
• The Circle of Concern is like your worry bubble. It's ALL the stuff you think about or spend mental energy on.
• The Circle of Control, on the other hand, is your action zone. It's the stuff you can actually do something about.
For a typical person in my generation, those two circles look like this.
Beginners Circle of Control and Concern
Damn, now look at that. The Circle of the typical social media doom scroller. Confronted with so many worries but yet there are many things that he or she cannot control. Most news articles, reels, and posts usually target the red boxes.
Even as a newbie, you can take control over many things, which are the blue boxes gathered in the middle. But every second you waste on the red boxes is a second you’re not investing in the blue ones.
If you live like this, as most people do, you become a reactive person. Life happens, and the only thing you do is react. Bad weather? You get grumpy. Traffic jam? You honk and complain. Creators sharing insights about how much they earn with what they do? You rant online and among your friends that “content creation” is not a real job.
Although this is the default response for most, there is another way to live.
It is to shrink your circle of concern, (ditch the daily news, stop watching others working on their circle of influence) and use that extra brain power to work on YOUR items within YOUR circle of control.
This is called being proactive. To do so it helps to start from the beginning and work outwards. At the very beginning are the goals in your life.
For me, this exercise could be like this:
Goal:
To lead the happiest life possible:
how to reach Goal:
life a long and healthy life
maintain good relationships with my partner, family, and friends
pursue financial freedom by doing what I like
helping others to the best of my ability
With these guidelines, it becomes much easier to decide what stays in your circle of Concern.
You start by identifying each concern within your circle, analyze it, and decide if it is something you can affect, then either ditch it or start working on it. For example:
Concern:
The weather sucks, and my partner took our shared car to visit her family but I really want to get my workout in. The gym is 4 kilometers away from home.
Analysis:
How does this relate to my goal? Is it part of the "how to reach Goal" list? Yes - working out is key to living a long and healthy life
So am I correct in seeking a way to get to the gym today? Yes
Is the local weather in my control? No
Does complaining about the weather help me get to the gym? No
So will I choose to waste anyone’s time by issuing complaints? No
Is it possible to ride the bike even though it's raining? Yes
What is required to do this? Get out that raincoat, and take the waterproof backpack (I usually bring a camera to my workouts).
So will I go to the closet and get that coat and the pack back? Yes
In other cases, the outcome can be deeper
Concern:
I try to keep up with social media trends to improve my content creation skills but the overload of information and the fast-paced social media world worries me quite a bit.
Analysis:
Why do I feel that watching tons of social media posts and reels makes me a better content creator? Because I want to stay informed about the latest trends and viral content.
How does this contribute to the goal of becoming financially free? By copying the latest trends I will attract new followers. More followers means a bigger reach. Bigger reach eventually creates a bigger income.
Will copying every viral trend make me a unique content creator, somebody who is original and not so easy to replace? I don't think so.
What's the underlying framework of viral content? It has to be a new and unique perspective on things showcased in a way that hasn't been done before.
Does scrolling through your Instagram challenge you to go deep and create your very own thing? No, it tends to distract me resulting in doing nothing
So what is the best way to create something unique, something that is 100% you? Hmm... I guess I should ditch scrolling through my social media feed and explore the topics that I am passionate about, dissect them as far as I can, and then explain and showcase them with the skills I have developed so far in the way that I find the most valuable and entertaining. If I do it this way, I am pretty sure that the outcome is unique and original.
Note: Even though the outcome seems obvious—"Do your own thing"—this exercise gives it more depth. It helps you feel more confident in your decisions because you've carefully thought through the process by yourself. While it's not easy, it's definitely worthwhile.
This brings us to the most exciting aspect of this concept!
By limiting the irrelevant things you do and think about, you automatically become better at the relevant things on which you spend your time.
The increase in your health, wealth, network of friends, and knowledge of relevant things from reading books, creating content, and talking with other highly effective people will transform your circle of control into something like this:
Advanced Circle of Control and Concern
now we talking!
The circle of control is now on steroids - but in a healthy way. That means it has increased tremendously. And if we take a look at this new advanced circle we see that there are new and fancy additions in green.
By avoiding stuff that doesn't matter, this person now has way more control over his or her life. Things they used to just worry about? Now they can actually do something about them.
And isn't that what we all want in the end?
There you have it guys! With this new knowledge, I challenge you to monitor both your worries and your words. If you find yourself wasting energy on things outside of your control go back to the very beginning and ask yourself if it helps your goal in life, if not ditch it and get back to work on the things that really matter to you!
WeWill control
